


Coming to Eriador

by Versatile



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Caution! Food, Coming to America AU, Interesting facts in some notes, M/M, Not Beta Read, Parody, Reading this may cause hunger, Romantic Comedy, Sauron has an EYE on everyone, Slow Burn, hairdresser!Gandalf, rebel!Thorin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:49:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Versatile/pseuds/Versatile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Life is a journey, with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy.</i>
</p><p>There comes a point in most people's lives when human needs to change something...</p><p>And so some prince decided to change his... orientation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heads or Tails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some winter day in The Kingdom of Erebor, where the tradition has always been a holy thing,  
> Met his wife-to-be, and was to be married, Thorin II Oakenshield, the young son of king.  
> To change the tradition, he refused the marriage, and took the matters in his own hands,  
> And went to a faraway land to the west… Please, read, and see how this story ends.

Far on the East over the Misty Mountains, and a vast Mirkwood Forest there was the wealthiest kingdom in all Middle-Earth, The Kingdom of Erebor, the stronghold of King Thrain, The King Under The Mountain. Peaceful, and prosperous, yet powerful, and dangerous. That's where our story begins: in a wondrous kingdom; among the pampered royalty, and dedicated servants; the infinite wealth, sumptuous balls, and old-fashioned traditions...

As every single day, a royal servant and few other servants showed up in their prince's room early in the morning. However, this day wasn't an ordinary day but a very special one...

"Good morning, Your Majesty.", said the servants and the prince opened his eyes, lazily. He stretched his limbs, supported himself on one elbow, and nodded his head. "Happy birthday, Your Majesty.", added the royal servant, bowing. Balin was his name; a quite short man with a grey hair. The prince scratched his short beard, narrowed his eyes and frowned. "Birthday...?", he hummed, "Right, it is my birthday today." He cracked a small smile and sat up. Two servants approached him. One of them put the slippers on his feet, and the other helped him dress a robe after he stood up.

Things like waking up, bathing, braiding hair, or dressing up were driving Thorin round the bend. Why? His servants would always help him with everything. Sometimes it was nice, however the older he was the more independent he wanted to be. Nonetheless, it was a blasted tradition, and none other than the King himself could change it.

"You must be excited today, My Prince.", Balin sounded seriously, however it was more like tongue in cheek; guiding the young heir to the throne to the enormous dining room, "Today is your 24th birthday, which means you will meet your wife-to-be during the great banquet.", he added and looked knowingly at Thorin who seemed utterly unimpressed. "Balin, as we both know well there is no way I would get excited about a woman I have never seen before.", murmured the prince, quite malcontent.

Balin smiled, "Right, my lad.", he agreed then sighed, "Times must change. You know, were I in your shoes, I would have resisted the king and searched for beloved by myself.", he winked and patted prince's arm. Thorin parted his lips as if to say something, but the guards opened the door, and they entered the dining room. The king, as well as the queen were already sitting at the table. Thorin joined them; he was seated at the end of the long table- across from his parents.

The servants brought more mouth- watering dishes, and filled the glasses with a juice. Then the royal family started eating the breakfast in silence. Thorin was watching his parents discreetly, as well as waiting for an appropriate moment to begin a serious conversation. What Balin had said gave him food for thought. There were many things that bothered him, that shall not be ignored but changed immediately..., however, oddly, it was difficult to start talking.

"My dear.", the queen whispered, concerned. Her husband slowly looked up from the newspaper and stared at her, questioningly. "Don't you think our son looks dreary, also he is brooding." King Thrain averted his eyes from her and looked at his descendant, "Indeed. He does look strange."

"Is something bothering you, my son?", he said audibly. Thorin made an eye contact with his father and smiled, hesitantly, "No, father. I am perfectly fine."

Thrain sighed, "My boy, I was not born yesterday. I asked, for as your father, and a splendid ruler of this land I am able to tell whether anything is troubling especially my son, or not. Be truthful, if you please."

"What... Now?", the prince mumbled, "I, well...", he looked around and exhaled. Yelling through the vast dining room was aggravating so he rose from the table, and headed towards his parents, who seemed astonished, to talk like civilized people. He approached them and bowed. His mother grabbed his hand gently, and smiled, "Thorin, please, sit."

He nodded his head and sat next to his mother, serious. His parents exchanged looks, confused. "Um, well, what is it, my lad?"

"To be frank, I am not happy here..."

The king and the queen gaped at him. "Thorin, my dear child, what is it that you do not like about your home? Tell me everything, do not even think about being like your little sister. I will not live through another child's escape from home. It would be the final nail to my coffin.", his father straightened on his chair, agitated.

The prince sighed and tapped his fingers on the armrests, "I do not plan on escaping, it is just... I would like to do some things myself. I mean, I would like to bathe myself, braid my hair, cook, or dress, and on top of that, I'd like to find my own wife.", he grumbled.

"Oh", said the king and the queen simultaneously, baffled. After a while Thrain shook his head and cocked an eyebrow, "So that's what was bothering you?", he chuckled, "We have selected a fine wife for you, I must confess. From a well known and wealthy family. A goddess, she is. Ever since her birth, she was taught to think, walk, speak, and behave as a queen. And she is allegiant.", he smiled broadly to his son.

"That all sounds promising... Nonetheless, what if I do not love her?", asked Thorin, feeling a sort of strange fear, pessimism, and hopelessness; feelings so unfamiliar to him. 

"You will fall in love with her the moment you see her.", assured his father half jokingly, "It is normal to be uneasy about meeting your queen. Your ancestors were feeling the same..."

"When I first saw your father, I was aghast. However, over the years, when I got to know him better, I have grown very fond of him.", added the queen, and patted her son's hand

"I must admit, I was scared, too. But as your mother said earlier, with the passing of time, eventually we have fallen in love with each other."

Thorin frowned and nodded his head. It all seemed legit. He understood everything, and didn't want to disappoint his parents, however particularly this part of the tradition was contrary to his feelings, or world outlook. "I comprehend, though, when I marry I want the spouse to love me for who I am, not because of what I am. Moreover, it would be great if I also were in love with them."

"Because of who you are? And who are you?", Thrain quirked an eyebrow

"A man who has never cooked, braided his hair, or tied his shoes."

"Nah, you are a _prince_ who has never done those things before. I tried doing those once... And it was nothing to write home about.", he admitted and hummed.

All of a sudden, the guards opened the door, and a big, bald man entered the dining room. He was taller than Thorin, clad similarly to him in a black jumper with embroidered Erebor's emblem, (a raven in a golden crown, and a Lonely Mountain in the background) and grey trousers. He had a long, black boots on his feet.

"Good morning, Your Majesty. We have got a lovely day today in Erebor.", he growled smirking. The king frowned at him. He was rather unhappy because of the interruption, "Indeed. But what is it, Dwalin?"

The bald man smiled wryly, averted his gaze from Thorin's father, and looked at the queen. His expression became gentle. "Oh, Queen Tholiel, you look marvellous today, truly. You are getting prettier and prettier each day."

"Is that so?", she smiled, flattered, "But, Dwalin, don't you have somewhere you should go now?"

"Aye", he nodded his head, ", I was going to take the birthday boy for his daily practice."

Thorin raised his eyebrows and a small smile showed on his face, "Excuse me, father. And mother.", he looked at them and bowed. He laid a kiss upon the queen's forehead, and walked away.

"Have fun, my son."

* * *

Thorin, and his friend and a Guard Commander - Dwalin, entered a big sports hall and warmed up in silence. The prince had told him earlier about the conversation with his parents, while heading to the locker room. And it surprised Dwalin greatly. For Thorin has always been obedient...

"So... You want to be a rebel, like Dís? Your father will be utterly disconsolate.", grumbled the Captain of the Guard, pulling out two wooden swords from a box. "You can have a woman raised especially to obey your every command, however you'd rather have a woman who has her own opinion?", he snorted and handed down a sword to Thorin

"Only dogs are to obey. You should value other's opinion, all the more your own wife's."

"For Mahal's balls, have you gone insane? You are the heir to the throne of Erebor. You have to follow the tradition, and obey your king, and his will.", he groaned. "Let's see if you can defend yourself, princeling.", he smirked and clenched his fingers around the hilt. Thorin raised his eyebrows and smiled. They started going around, keeping a watchful eye on each other. Abruptly, Dwalin attacked first. They exchanged few hits, and they clashed their swords together.

"Don't you think that your wife only need to have a pretty face, nice backside, and huge breasts?"

They broke away. Thorin frowned, however stayed relaxed. Dwalin only wanted to eviscerate him, and win. That's why the prince kept his composure. He faced Dwalin sideways and attacked. He swung his blade smoothly and extended his arms fully to project the blow at his opponent. He thrust and cut, and soon he knocked Dwalin's sword out of his hand. He tripped him with his foot, and put the tip of the wooden blade against his throat.

"Would you share your bed, dear Dwalin, and your fortune with a beautiful fool?", the prince asked. His voice was low and deep.

"By my beard, it is tradition. That's the way it has always been.", the Guard Commander growled, and supported himself on one elbow. "The tradition.", he hissed

"Perhaps it is time the tradition changed, don't you think?", he cracked a smile and nodded to Dwalin

* * *

In the evening, all the inhabitants of Erebor, and some from neighbouring kingdoms gathered in an enormous throne hall. The room was decorated, and full of light. It had a high ceiling, ornamented columns and floor made of marble. The atmosphere was pleasant. The Ereborean Orchestra played very loudly. Tons of people were passing the corridors of the mansion, eating, drinking, and chatting with each other. Everyone was dressed in gala clothes: women in lovely gowns; men in dark tuxedos.

The king was sitting on his throne with a crown upon his head, a thick, golden necklace around his neck, and with a raven sitting on his shoulder. He was clad in a black suit, and had a cloak with fur on his arms. Queen Tholiel was standing on his left side; dressed in a long, blue gown. Thorin, and Dwalin were on his right side; dressed similarly- in black tuxedos.

When the orchestra stopped playing, all the people went quiet, and a slender man in a uniform, and a chubby woman stood in front of the royal family. "Hail, Your Majesty.", he bowed, "I am Colonel Gilhafimarr. And today, with your blessing, o king, I offer my daughter to your son."

The majestic king stood up slowly, and looked around, "My blessing is absolutely granted.", he made a small pause, and inhaled, "Let the courtship begin!"

"Presenting Miss Chalria Gilhafimarr", said the woman, and both she and her husband pointed their hands at the middle of the throne hall. The people parted and made room for their daughter to let her pass. Everyone was watching with interest as the door to the room opened, and a beautiful young woman entered the throne hall leisurely; except for the prince. He was indifferent all the time. Dwalin looked at him, smirking. "A truly fine wife-to-be, and she has an unusual name."

"Difficult to pronounce.", mumbled Thorin, sighing

"What of it? She is perfect.", he patted prince's arm, proud

The fiancée approached her father with grace, and took his hand. The girl was tall and slim, she had a pale complexion, which contrasted ideally with her long, curly, dark hair. She was dressed in a gold gown with long train. The prince exhaled, and much to everyone's surprise, he walked over to them, and bowed. "May I talk to you for a moment, please? Alone.", he whispered to Chalria. She was flabbergasted, as well as her father, Dwalin, or the king. He grabbed her wrist and said openly, "Excuse us for a moment." They left the throne hall through the door (not main), and went to a small living room.

Thorin stood in front of her, and rubbed his temple. "So... You see..."

"Don't you like me, Your Highness? Am I that different from what you have dreamed I would be?", she looked him deep in his royal blue eyes

"By Mahal, no, you are fine. Very beautiful. Nevertheless, if we are to be married, we should chat a bit, and get to know each other.", he put on a fake smile, but became serious in less than no time

"Ever since I was born, I have been taught to serve you, and know what you like.", she responded straightaway, as if she were programmed

"I know that, but I would like to know something about _you_. What is your hobby? What kind of music do you like? What's your favourite food, or a book?", Thorin walked over to the window slowly, turning his back to the woman, and folded his arms behind his back. He wanted to conceal his disappointment and reluctance.

"I like whatever you like, Your Highness.", she bowed. To tell the truth, the prince had expected such response... "It's no use...", he thought, "Never will I marry her- a person who was told to love me, and taught to serve me. I do not need another servant..."

"Can you not obey me?"

"No."

"What if I ordered you to not obey me? Would you obey?"

"I...", she stammered, "I cannot disobey you."

"Then you'd disobey.", Thorin smirked

The door to the room was flung open, and the king walked in. Thorin faced him, wearing a serious expression. "Are you getting along?", Thrain smiled, hopeful. His son tilted his head, then looked at Chalria, "I'd like to speak with my father. Can you excuse us for a moment?"

She bowed to them and left without a word. "Beautiful, isn't she?", the king seemed proud of himself.

"Yes, she is...", he admitted what flattered his father, "However, dad, about this marriage..." Again, the door sprang open without warning, interrupting the conversation. Balin stood in a doorframe. "Your Majesty, the guests are waiting.", he announced, uneasy.

"Let them wait. For I am conversing with my son.", the king ordered, masterfully, and put his palm on Thorin's arm, "Come, my boy, let's go for a walk so no one could disturb us."

They left the palace and went to the garden in silence. Everything was covered in a sheer layer of snow and ice, which glistened beautifully in the dim light of the light posts and the moon. The ravens were sitting on the bare trees like the Christmas tree decorations, and squawking very loudly. Thorin stared at the starry sky and sighed.

"Time sure flies fast.", his father broke the silence, and wrapped himself tight in his furry cloak, "It seems only yesterday I ordered your first nappy changed , and now you are a handsome man who is about to be married. I am the world's happiest father.", he said, elated. Thorin was speechless. "You two suit each other. You will be happy together, don't you think?"

Thorin looked at the tips of his shoes, breathed in, raised his head and stared his father in the eyes. "I am not ready for the marriage.", he stated straight out. The king was watching him closely with his mouth agape. "I am 24 years old. And I have never crossed the borders of Erebor. I would like to see the world. Experience what it has to offer." He extended his hand and pointed at the shadowy forest and the horizon. "It is out there, not in my books or maps."

"That's...", Thrain hummed, and started contemplating. After a while he smiled broadly. "Very well, my son. Take Dwalin with yourself. Get out, see the world, and enjoy yourself. Fulfil your every erotic desire, and in 40 days, you will marry Chalria."

"What?" Thorin didn't expect such outcome. "But, father-"

"It is settled. Now, let's go back.", he turned on his heel and headed towards the palace.

* * *

Soon, they reached a doorway to the mansion. The guards opened the door and they entered the palace, paced the corridors, then walked into the throne hall. The king and his son stood by the throne. "May I have your attention, please?" All the guests' eyes were fastened on the royal family. "The wedding will proceed in 40 days. You may return home now. Good night.", he declared and walked over to his advisor, "Balin, prepare my son's and Dwalin's baggage. The prince is going on a journey." Balin smiled, bowed and went to arrange everything.

"We are leaving?", Dwalin approached Thorin, surprised. "Yeah, follow me.", bid the heir to the throne, and went along the corridor. "A holiday is an excellent idea."

"Dwalin, it is not holiday. I have something else in my mind.", he smirked, "I intend to find my betrothed."

"What is wrong with Miss Chalria? She is ideal."

"Not for me. I want a partner who will arouse my intellect, as well as my loins."

"Where would you find such a woman?"

Thorin frowned and wondered. "In Eriador."

They went to the library. Thorin stood beside the huge terrestrial globe, and watched it carefully, in attempt to find an appropriate place. The decision was not simple whatsoever. "Fulfil your every erotic desire, and in 40 days, you will marry Chalria.", his father's words were echoing in his mind over and over again. Fulfil every erotic desire? He snorted.

"Where shall we go?", asked Dwalin, unfolding some old map, and laying it on an ebony desk, "The land is so large, the choices so infinite...", he looked at Thorin. "Arthedain, or Cardolan?"

Thorin put his fingers on the other side of the continent, and raised his eyebrows, "We will let fate decide.", he walked over to the desk and pulled a coin from his pocket. "Heads, Arthedain. Tails, Cardolan.", decided the prince and tossed a coin. It spun few times in the air, and then landed in his hand. He looked at his friend hesitantly. When the bald man nodded his head, the prince laid the coin on the desk and glanced at it.

"Heads. We go to the Kingdom of Arthedain."

"But where to exactly? Where in Arthedain can anyone find a woman with grace and elegance...?", hummed Dwalin. Thorin approached him. "Let's see...", he scrutinised the map, "I have read some day, supposedly, the really respectable, of great beauty, and intelligent people live nowhere else than in the Shire."

"The Shire? So be it.", agreed Dwalin and exchanged looks with Thorin who nodded his head. Deep in his heart, he was thrilled. "Tell your brother about the destination.", requested the prince, "Rest well. I will see you soon.", he smiled and went to his room. Refreshed, he laid to sleep, and a strange feeling overwhelmed him; he felt as if he had hit the jackpot. With the thought of the Shire in mind, he closed his eyes, and he was out like light.

* * *

The next day, after the breakfast, and bidding friends and relatives a long farewell, Thorin stood in a vast hall and looked around, at those familiar walls and chambers, big windows, high ceilings, pillars, modern-looking furniture, expensive tapestries hanging on the walls, red carpets..., the stairs and floors made of marble. And he already felt nostalgic.

"The car is waiting, Your Majesty.", announced Balin, smiling from ear to ear, he looked at the prince knowingly. As a response, Thorin nodded his head, smiled at him, walked over and put his hand on the advisor's shoulder. He looked around for the last time and slowly left the palace.

"Good luck, my lad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real name of Thorin's mother, unfortunately, is unknown so I made up one- Tholiel. It sounds quite nice, and is similar to her son's :D
> 
> I have borrowed the other name (Chalria Gilhafimarr) from [this page.](http://jtevans.kilnar.com/rpg/dnd/tools/dwarf.php)
> 
> Btw, it's my very first fanfic. I really hope you enjoy reading c;


	2. The Three Istari

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win."_
> 
> -John Paul Jones

Far on the north-west of Middle-Earth, in Eriador, there was one of the most wondrous kingdoms you can possibly imagine- The Kingdom of Arthedain- that resulted from the breakup of Arnor very long time ago. The kingdom's capital was at Fornost, and Bree was one of its most important towns, as well as the peaceful and prosperous Shire...

That's where our prince and his friend went.

It was the middle of the winter in most of the kingdoms of Middle-Earth. And here, in the Shire, just as in the Kingdom of Erebor, the fluffy snow was to be found. However, the snow in the Shire was quite a rare phenomenon, and was regarded as a pleasant event and a chance for fun. Thus winter that year was pretty unusual.

It was early in the morning in the Shire. The flight took around 8 hours. Thorin and Dwalin were pacing along the airport's corridor slowly, and heading to the exit. The baggage men were following them, helping with bringing the baggage to the pavement in front of the building. "The people...", grumbled the Guard Commander, looking around, warily, "They are watching us."

Thorin stared at him, calmly, "I am aware of that. We do stand out a bit.", he smiled. Indeed, they were standing out, for they were clad in suits, fancy furry cloaks, and had some precious jewellery on themselves. Also, the baggage men carrying their luggage. People of the Shire were not used to the sight of rich persons, especially good-looking, that's why all the eyes were on them. 

"We have to find an accommodation."

They went outside and looked about. The taxis were parked close by. Thorin walked over to one of them and knocked at the window of the car. The taxi driver opened the door and looked at him questioningly. "Hail, take us somewhere nice.", the prince requested. The taxi-man nodded his head hesitantly. He left the car and placed the bags in the car trunk. Then they seated themselves.

"So... what do you mean by 'somewhere nice', gentlemen? A luxurious hotel?", the man smiled and looked at them through his rear view window, "Rich fellows shall stay in such place."

"Certainly, take us to the hotel.", hummed Dwalin

"No.", the prince said bluntly and his friend gaped at him. "I'd like to rent a flat. Do you know a good place?"

The man raised his eyebrows. "Sure, I do." He started the engine and moved on. Thorin smiled at Dwalin who was scowling, arms crossed over his chest. "Take it easy. It will be fun.", assured the son of king what didn't comfort the pouty bald man whatsoever. All the way, the prince was marvelling at the views he saw through the window: streets, terraced houses, cars, and tones of people. It was a tad similar to the rich centre of Erebor. Although poorer, it was still very beautiful.

After some time, the taxi-man pulled the car over, "Is this place all right?", he pointed his finger at a building

Thorin and Dwalin looked out the window and saw a big town house. "Yes, it is lovely. Thank you.", Thorin admitted. They paid and the cab driver pulled the baggage from the trunk and put it on the sidewalk. They bid him farewell and slowly approached the door to the building and exchanged looks.

Thorin knocked at the door without hesitation and it opened after a while. A short man stood in the doorway, wary. He had a short, fair hair, and glasses on his nose. He looked at them inquiringly. "What is it?"

The son of king put on a professional smile and spoke, "We would like to rent a room."

The landlord eyed them, then smiled broadly. "Come on in, gentlemen.", he invited the newcomers. They entered the hallway and closed the door behind them. "Excuse me if I was harsh, I was afraid that you are just making fun. However, I was wrong."

"Indeed. We are looking for an accommodation."

The shorter man hummed. "Well, come with me. I'll show you the flat.". They followed the landlord to the second floor, paced the corridor and stopped in front of the door. "Here we are.", announced the host and opened the door. He walked inside.

The room was neat, full of light, and it had a balcony and a bathroom. A desk and two chairs were standing under the window. On the left side of the desk was a closet and a chest of drawers and the door to the balcony. At the middle of the room were two sofas and a table. Opposite to the table was a TV. And above, shelves. Behind one of the sofas was the door to the bathroom.

Thorin and Dwalin entered the flat and looked around. "We will take the room.", decided the prince right away. His friend rolled his eyes.

* * *

Dwalin went for their baggage and brought it upstairs. Fortunately, people in the Shire were proper and honest and nothing was missing. When he returned to the room with the last bag, he found Thorin standing on a balcony and scrutinising the surrounding area.

"Behold, Dwalin. This is the real life.", he breathed in, "Now we can witness it by ourselves."

"Aye.", he nodded, half-heartedly

The prince turned around to look at his friend. "Let's go for a shopping. Let us dress as the native people."

"Whatever."

Thorin shook his head seeing Dwalin's enthusiasm.

They locked the room and went outside the building, then headed towards the city centre, which wasn't that far. Soon, they found a shop and picked some stylish clothes which they put on themselves right away. Dwalin was dressed in a white jumper, grey sweatshirt with a hood and a slant zip, dark blue jeans and black boots. He had a sunglasses on his nose and a scarf around his neck. On the other hand, Thorin was clad in a white shirt; he had a grey blue tie around his neck; a black buttoned cardigan, black double-breasted coat, grey pants and black shoes.

They left the shop. The bald man seemed grumpy, "We look totally fabulous.", he grumbled, "Still, somehow, people are staring at us as if they saw some celebrities... It is annoying. And I am hungry. It's past dinnertime in Erebor..."

"You have a point.", agreed the prince

They went to a restaurant and had an excellent meal- a Veal Vegetables Stew with rice in a savoury sauce, and afterwards a delicious Cherry Chocolate Cake, and a cup of coffee. Dwalin finally seemed happy, and Thorin was watching other people's... hairstyles. Compared to their haircuts, his was... different. He touched his long, curly hair then one of his braids. "Dwalin... Perhaps I shall change my hairstyle.", he hummed.

"Mahal, no.", barked Dwalin and frowned, appalled.

"Yes."

"No..."

"It is settled.", decided the prince. "There is a hairdressing salon next to our accommodation."

"You are damn stubborn, princeling.", he growled

"Have you finished eating?", Thorin asked and his friend nodded his head, angry. They paid the bill, left the restaurant and headed home. Shortly, they reached the town house. Next to the building was a small hairdresser's 'The Three Istari'. They opened the door and walked inside. There were three hairdressers inside chatting with each other lively. Thorin stopped in his tracks.

"Gandalf.", he parted his lips and raised his eyebrows in awe.

The hairdressers fell silent and stared at the newcomers. A tall man with a grey beard smiled broadly, "Dear me! Thorin Oakenshield.", he laughed, "Hail, long time no see, my friend."

The prince approached him. "True, it has been a while. I did not know that you were a hairdresser."

"Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to be a hairdresser. That's why, recently, I've opened this place with my friends...", he pointed at his co-workers, "Saruman and Radagast." Saruman was tall and had a white hair and beard, on the other hand, Radagast was shorter than his fellow workers, and had a brown hair and beard.

"It is very nice to meet you.", Thorin nodded his head to them and they grinned

"What has brought you here, to the Shire?", hummed Gandalf, inquisitive

Thorin and Dwalin exchanged looks, "Well, we are on our first holidays."

"You should have come in spring, or summer.", the older man narrowed his eyes, smiling, "Anyways, the both of you look gorgeous. You are such a handsome man, Thorin. You are more handsome than your father when he was your age."

"Thank you.", he was flattered, "Gandalf, I'd like to cut my hair."

Dwalin grimaced and Gandalf became serious. "Really? Why?"

"No specific reason."

"Come, sit down.", he murmured and pointed at the chair. Thorin nodded his head and seated himself with grace. "How do you want it cut?"

"Just make it neat and nice."

Gandalf rolled up his sleeves and stared at Thorin's braids. He removed the beads, gave it to the prince, and unbraided his hair. Next, he combed it, dampened with water, and determined the length. Then cut up and down along the occipital bone and travelled that guide throughout the entire head. Drying, a bit of styling and a new haircut was finished.

Thorin stared at his reflection in the mirror and ran his hand through his short hair, amazed. "Tell me... Honestly, how do I look?"

Gandalf, Saruman and Radagast were nodding their heads approvingly. "Hot. Damn hot." Dwalin approached him and watched his friend closely, "Surprisingly, short hair really suits you.", he admitted, disappointed. Thorin smirked and looked at the tall man with a grey beard. "Thank you Gandalf.", he bowed, "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh, nothing, really. But you may show up from time to time and bring something to eat.", he laughed

"Certainly, as you wish. See you soon then."

Thorin and Dwalin left the hairdresser's. "It is time to find your queen.", mumbled the bald man.

"You are right. Where shall we go?"

"Let's go to a bar."

"To a bar? So be it."

They left their shopping home and went to a bar. The first thing that caught their attention in that place was the loud music; dim, colourful lights, and dozens of people dancing on a dance-floor in a strange manner. Thorin looked at Dwalin, shocked.

They found an empty table in the corner of the room and seated themselves, awkward. People were staring at them with curiosity. The bald man frowned.

"What should we do now? Any ideas?", asked Thorin.

"Maybe... We shall take the initiative?"

They joined some pretty girls and started the conversation. The girls were behaving surprisingly wildly, drinking shots, yelling, and telling the stories of their lives. Other women were already married, but wanted to have some fun at the bar. Another were lesbian, transvestites, or simply not Thorin's type. Each female was not well enough.

Thorin whispered into Dwalin's ear, "Sweet Mahal, Dwalin, we will not find the love of my life at the bar. Let's get out of here." The bald man agreed with the prince and they left the place immediately. "Is it only my imagination, or all these girls have a severe emotional problems?", said Thorin, disillusioned.

"Unfortunately, I am afraid, it is not your imagination. I doubt we will ever find your queen."

They returned to their flat, tired and helpless; unpacked their bags, bathed and went to sleep. Dwalin was out like a light, however Thorin was just lying, staring at the ceiling, recalling and brooding. He couldn't believe that none of the girls from the bar was nice, polite and intelligent...

"Do not worry, it was just the first day. It will be better tomorrow. Certainly.", he told himself and closed his eyes.

* * *

They woke up past noon, still tired, and went out to eat and buy some pastries at a bakery. Then they paid a visit to the hairdresser's. "Good day.", exclaimed Gandalf as soon as he saw the guests. "Ah, good afternoon...", Thorin and Dwalin mumbled

"What is it, my dear fellows?", he scrutinised them, "You seem weary. Were you dancing through the night in some club?", he quipped. The prince and the guard smiled wryly.

"We brought some pastries for you."

"That's great, thank you. Come, sit."

The three hairdressers, the son of king and his guard sat by a small table and unpacked the dessert. "Well, I must confess I am looking for a love of my life... Yesterday we went to a bar and were looking for a fine girl to no avail.", confessed Thorin, downhearted

"At a bar.", hummed Saruman, "You should have gone to nice places, like the church, or library..."

"True. You can't go to no bar to find a nice woman.", agreed Radagast

"Wait...", mumbled Gandalf and rubbed his temple, "Thorin, what? Something is wrong. What about the tradition?" All eyes were fastened on the prince who sighed.

"I have decided to change it. Times must change.", he growled

"You must be really stubborn... Since you had already crossed the borders of Erebor and are sitting here with us.", Gandalf sighed, "What does your father think about changing the tradition?"

Thorin kept quiet and looked at the wall.

Gandalf narrowed his eyes and huffed. "Of course, he doesn't know about it.", he assumed. They all fell silent, awkward.

"Well, let's eat.", Radagast broke the silence after a while

"Yeah. Now we only lack a good coffee.", noted Saruman, smiling. Everyone agreed unanimously. Then the door opened and a shorter man with curly honey-brown hair entered the hair salon and looked around. He was clad in a white shirt, tartan necktie, brown cardigan, navy blue jeans, and black double breasted coat. He stared at everybody that was gathered at the table, surprised. "Good afternoon, gentlemen.", he said, nonetheless smiling and approached them

"Bilbo!", exclaimed Radagast, elated, "You are a godsend, really."

The curly haired man laughed, "Darn, I see you have guests. Had I known earlier, I would have brought more coffee." He stood behind Thorin's back and placed three big paper cups on the table. The prince glanced over his shoulder at him and their eyes locked. Bilbo froze amazed as he stared into those piercing blue eyes. Thorin raised his eyebrows and parted his lips, speechless.

They were looking at each other for a while, not even blinking. "How are you doing, my dear fellow?", Gandalf interjected. Bilbo flinched and looked at his old friend, "Very well, Gandalf, thank you.", he said confused, feeling Thorin's powerful gaze on himself , "And you?"

"Couldn't be better.", the older man laughed and looked at Thorin, then again at Bilbo, "Allow me to introduce my friends from Rhovanion...", he requested hesitantly and pointed at the prince and his guard, "Thorin and Dwalin." They stood up with grace then bowed. Bilbo lifted his head to look at their faces. Those guys were tall. "It's a pleasure to meet you.", the honey-brown haired man smiled. Dwalin only hummed, pouty and sat down.

"The pleasure is all mine.", Thorin smiled broadly, towering over Bilbo

The shorter man was flabbergasted. He wanted to say something smart, but Thorin's smile was too much to handle. He averted his gaze from him to Gandalf who grinned. "Come, sit with us, Bilbo."

"No, no, excuse me, but I have to go now.", he murmured, "Maybe next time? Yeah, next time. See you.", he waved at them and went out hastily. Thorin's eyes followed his every movement and he sank into a thoughtfulness.

"What was that...?", Gandalf hummed, surprised, "He run away just like that?"

"Yup, that was weird.", murmured Saruman and started eating the pastry, "Damn Cinderella. We didn't even thank him for the coffee."

Dwalin frowned and looked at the prince who was still standing and staring at the door, smitten. "Thorin...?', he asked, concerned, "Thorin!". All eyes were on him.

"Who was he?", Thorin faced them eventually, he put on a serious expression

"Bilbo... Baggins. My friend.", answered Gandalf, wary "Usually, when he's on his way home he drops by with coffee..."

"He's gay.", murmured Radagast and sipped on his drink, "And he's going out with this top model... What was his name again...? Su... Stu... No, R...

Gandalf sighed, " _Sauron_."

"Radagast, you are so hopeless.", Saruman rolled his eyes

"Butt out, old geezers.", he grunted, offended

"Cool your jets, you fools!, Gandalf cried and frowned at them. He stood up and looked at Thorin, "Come with me.", he bid and went to a backroom. The prince followed him slowly. It was dim inside. There were some boxes and chairs, a small kitchen, window, the door to the toilet and outside.

"Thorin Oakenshield, what in the world are you doing??"

"What do you mean?", the heir to the throne frowned

"For goodness sake, you know too well what I mean. First, you decide to change the tradition, then you show up in the Shire to find your queen. And now you suddenly look at Bilbo with those hungry eyes of yours." Gandalf seemed annoyed

"What of it? It is not a crime to look.", he smirked

"It is not. However let's not forget that you are quite obstinate and unreasonable. I can see that you have an eye on Bilbo. And that is no good. Let go before it's too late, forget, and return to Erebor.", he advised

"You are very observant, hairdresser.", he lifted his head and folded his arms across his chest, "I appreciate your concern. Nevertheless, I will not back down on this."

"You do realize that your actions will cause problems?"

Thorin clenched his teeth. Gandalf was right, however the prince had chosen already... He didn't want to marry Chalria, but the person he will fall in love. And Bilbo was the one that interested him so far. " _It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win_.", he said and looked at the older man knowingly

"John Paul Jones...", murmured Gandalf, resigned, "To think that probably you have also caught Bilbo's fancy...", he rubbed his forehead, "I give up. Do whatever you want. And don't involve me in this mess."

"Really? You think that he might like me?", the prince smiled

"That's feasible. You are truly handsome..."

"Tell me, where can I find Bilbo Baggins?"

Gandalf shook his head, disbelievingly and huffed, "He helps his uncle at a coffeehouse... Bag-End. Hobbiton St. is where you shall find him. But... What are you intending to do?"

"I don't know yet. It remains to be seen.", he smiled, "Maybe I will steal Bilbo Baggins away from his man.", he folded his arms behind his back. Gandalf squinted. "Splendid. It shan't be difficult."

"How so?", Thorin asked, intrigued

"You have to discover for yourself.", the sly older man shrugged and smirked.

They returned to the rest of friends. Saruman and Radagast were providing service to customers, and Dwalin was sitting by the table and brooding. When they approached him, he looked at them questioningly. "What were you talking about?"

"Future.", Thorin gave him a short reply and the bald man frowned. "Could you be more precise? I am under the impression that you two were talking about some little guy named Bilbo.", he snarled, ironically.

"Why, no. Gandalf recommended me a good place for observation.", he smirked and looked at Gandalf. The older man laughed and shook his head in disbelief, "Well, dear friends, good luck." Thorin and Dwalin bid him farewell and left The Three Istari. The Guard Commander was watching the heir to the throne all the way to their flat. And when they finally sat on the sofas the bald man cleared his throat.

'Tell me, this place for observation... How is it called?"

Thorin looked at Dwalin, realizing that he was suspecting something, "Bag-End...", he answered right away. He didn't want to hide it, nonetheless. Dwalin hummed and nodded his head, "The little fellow brought the coffee from Bag-End. Is it the reason why you want to go there? To meet him? Does he work there?"

The prince averted his gaze from Dwalin and looked at the wall, then stood up and walked over to the balcony, folding his arms behind his back. The Captain of The Guard snorted, "You are so obvious.", he ground his teeth, "Why are you interested in him? In a man. Are you gay? Is that the reason why you didn't like your wife-to-be?"

Thorin glanced over his shoulder at him, amused, "You ask too much questions.", he faced his friend, "Listen, worrywart, I just want to watch him. Somehow, I feel that he is really intriguing. You may not understand it, but my hunch is that perhaps he is the one I look for.", he stressed the last seven words, " It was fate that we came to the Shire, met Gandalf of all people, and presumably meeting Bilbo Baggins also is fate."

"I understand it too well, yet, at the same time, I completely do not."

"Will you go with me? To Bag-End. Tomorrow."

Dwalin sighed, "I will, for you are my prince, and I am your guard and your friend, princeling. I will support you no matter what.", he smirked. Thorin nodded his head and cracked a small smile.

"So... Tomorrow we will go to Bag-End."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's interesting, according to [Tolkien Gateway](http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Main_Page) the [Quenya](http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Quenya) word Istari means "those who know".
> 
> The hairdresser's is called "The Three Istari". [Istari](http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Wizards) were the Wizards of Middle-Earth. The five known Istari were: Saruman, Gandalf, Radagast, and the Blue Wizards (Alatar and Pallando) :D


	3. Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Suddenly, Bilbo got a text message. He pulled his Smartphone from his pocket and read it. Lobelia glanced at the screen and smirked. "Oho, Sauron wrote to his date??"_
> 
> _"Wrong. I'm not his date. We are not going out."_
> 
> _"Really?", she giggled and went to tidy the dishes that the customers had left._ _Bilbo frowned and looked at Otho. "I'm not his date.", he repeated annoyed and his cousin shrugged_

He woke up early in the morning, opened his eyes, stretched his limbs, and stared at the ceiling, trying to remember... He had dreamt about something, however he couldn't recall what was that. One thing was certain- whatever he was dreaming about, it was truly nice.

Bilbo sighed, stood up reluctantly, dressed his robe and walked over to the window. In comparison with the warm, comfortable bed, it was pretty cold in his room. He would very much like to stay under the duvet than put his nose out of doors, thank you very much. Nonetheless, he dressed himself and went downstairs to the kitchen. His 'uncle' and 'cousin' were already sitting at the table. He greeted and joined them.

His parents had deceased when he was a youngster. And ever since his parents' death he's been leaving with Bracegirdles. They have always been his really good friends; almost family. That's why he had started calling them 'uncle' and 'cousin'.

Scrambled eggs with bacon and mushrooms, bread and a hot tea warmed him up a bit. Soon, he left the house and headed towards the Bag-End. It was his daily routine- to go on foot there and back again. On the other hand, his uncle Blanco and cousin Lobelia preferred to go by car.

He snuggled his nose down into his warm scarf, and turned the collar of his coat up to keep the cold wind out. "Hello, Bilbo.", he heard a joyful voice and raised his head. He saw a tall man with a grey beard standing in front of the door to The Three Istari. "Ah, Gandalf. Good day.", he greeted him and suddenly remembered what had happened the day before, "Sorry I left so quickly yesterday. I had something to do...", he lied, confused.

The real cause of leaving quickly was none other than Gandalf's handsome friend from Rhovanion. His gaze and majestic presence was too much to bear; enough to make Bilbo's heart flutter... He was just utterly embarrassed and unprepared for such meetings.

Gandalf stared at him knowingly, "Don't worry about that."

Bilbo nodded his head, uncertain, "Yeah, well, have a good day, Gandalf." He smiled and moved on. The older man hummed and looked at the town house Thorin and Dwalin were renting a flat and frowned.

Mister Blanco and his daughter opened the coffeehouse by Bilbo's arrival and the regular customers showed up right away. Bag-End was a beautiful place, there were old fashioned mahogany chairs and tables, chandeliers; old maps, paintings and mirrors hanging on the walls; dark hardwood floors, and lots of flowers such as Ivy, Kalanchoe, Crassula Lactea, Violet, bonsai of Dwarf Crape Myrtle, and much more.

When Bilbo entered the Bag-End, he smelled an aromatic scent of freshly ground coffee. It felt great. And it was warm inside the cafe. He walked over to the bar, taking off his scarf and gloves and smiled, "Hello, cousin."

"Hi.", Otho beamed a smile at him. He was a bit younger than Bilbo. He had a curly dark brown hair; and was working as a barista, "Would you like some coffee?"

"With pleasure. It would do me good.", Bilbo nodded, "I will join you in a moment.", said he and went to the backroom. His uncle's office was also there. He took off his coat and hung it on clothes hanger, then put on a dark apron. When he returned, Lobelia was helping Otho at the bar.

"Here", Otho handed Bilbo a cup of warm latte. The honey-brown haired man thanked him and they sat, since there was no customers to take the order from at the moment.

"You know, this snow and cold..., I'm fed up with this already.", grimaced Lobelia looking out the window. Bilbo and Otho nodded their heads, "Winter this year is pretty unusual. At first it was fun, however now it just annoys me."

"Absolutely, but it should warm up soon, I heard in the weather forecast.", comforted Otho

"That would be great.", mumbled Bilbo, took a sip and looked at the front door. Suddenly, he froze. Lobelia and Otho stared at him, surprised then followed his haze. They spotted a handsome, and a bald man approaching them. Everyone in Bag-End was staring at those two.

Lobelia stood up abruptly and smiled broadly when Thorin and Dwalin walked over to the counter. Bilbo hid behind her. "Hello, what can I get you?"

The prince and the Chief of the Guards exchanged looks, serious. "Two coffees, please."

"White Coffee, Latte, Latte Macchiato, Espresso, Mocha, Turkish Coffee, or Cappuccino?"

"Two White Coffees.", grumbled Dwalin. Otho stood up and went to prepare the drinks right away.

"All right. Would you like anything else, gentlemen?, she winked, "Croissants, pecan and maple Danish pastry, blackberry pie, Profiterole, Strudel, pork pie...?", Lobelia offered

Dwalin rolled his eyes. Thorin smiled when he saw his reaction. "Croissants, please..", the prince responded and Lobelia hummed, "Eat in or take away?"

"Eat in."

"It will be 10 castar." Thorin paid and, unfortunately for Bilbo, Lobelia went to get the Croissants. When she left, she revealed our Master Baggins. He wanted to do nothing but sink into the ground. However, he looked up courageously. "What are you afraid of?? You are behaving like a shy, pathetic, unsociable, unmannered ass.", he scolded himself in his mind

"Hello, Bilbo.", the prince nodded his head slowly and cracked a small smile

Bilbo reciprocated, "Hi.", and sipped on his coffee nonchalantly, "Lovely day, isn't it?"

"Indeed."

Thorin parted his lips as if to say something more, however at the same moment Otho returned with the coffees. Soon after that Lobelia brought the croissants. They wished them an enjoyable meal. Thorin and Dwalin seated themselves near the window and were glancing in the direction of the counter from time to time.

"What a hottie, the majestic one.", sighed Lobelia dreamily and sat next to Bilbo, "I would eat him up."

"That sounds scary.", laughed Otho and Bilbo agreed with him

Suddenly, Bilbo got a text message. He pulled his Smartphone from his pocket and read it. Lobelia glanced at the screen and smirked. "Oho, Sauron wrote to his date??"

"Wrong. I'm not his date. We are not going out."

"Really?", she giggled and went to tidy the dishes that the customers had left. Bilbo frowned and looked at Otho. "I'm not his date.", he repeated annoyed and his cousin shrugged

"What did he write, by the way?", the dark haired man asked, a bit curious

"He'd like to meet on weekend.", Bilbo looked at the screen once more and put the phone back in his pocket, "I'll answer later.", he sighed

From that day on, Thorin and Dwalin were showing up in Bag-End every day and spending hours there. Surprisingly, Bilbo got used to new regular customers rather quickly. His eyes were always searching for Thorin and his friend, and when they found them, Bilbo couldn't help but watch those two amusing fellows. And sometimes he was wondering what it would be like to at least befriend them?

* * *

One day, in the evening Bilbo and Lobelia were sitting in the living room, solving the crosswords, reading and listening to the radio as a doorbell rang. They exchanged looks, surprised.

"Who might that be? ...at this hour.", murmured Bilbo. His lovely cousin stood up smiling broadly, "I'll get it. It may be your prince.", she giggled.

Bilbo frowned, sat properly, and huffed, "No way, Sauron is in Mordor on a photo shoot, don't you remember that? And he is not my prince!", he exclaimed 

"Whatever." Lobelia opened the door and saw a tall man with a small parcel standing on a doorstep. "Delivery for Mister Bilbo Baggins.", he said bluntly

"Oh, I'm his cousin, I'll take it.", she offered and the man nodded his head, "Could you please sign it here?", he pointed at the paper and handed her a pen. Soon, Lobelia returned to the living room, sat on the sofa next to Bilbo and started unboxing it.

"What is it?", Bilbo asked surprised

"Ah, something for you. A courier brought it."

He smiled wryly and frowned then snatched the package out of Lobelia's hand, "Do you mind if I open my parcel?" She pouted and folded her arms over her chest.

Bilbo opened the box and stared at the content, flabbergasted. His cousin gasped, "Whoa, what are these?"

The honey-brown haired man touched the hair clasps, "Beads. It is popular in Ered Luin, Iron Hills, Erebor and other kingdoms. People use it to adorn their hair or beard with beaded braids. It's a part of the tradition or something, I've read someday.", he assumed. Lobelia looked closer and marvelled at the beads and hummed. "What are they made of? Silver? Stainless steel?", she was inquiring

"I'm not sure. It looks like steel."

She looked around and found a piece of paper on the sofa. It must have fallen out by accident during the unpacking. Lobelia smiled and analysed the beautifully handwritten text. "Wow. Nice, cousin."

"What?"

"From an admirer. Not Sauron.", she quoted and showed it to Bilbo, "Not only does this admirer know where you live, but also who's got an eye on you. Is he a stalker or something?"

Bilbo gaped at her and didn't know what to say.

"Who do you think is the admirer? A girl, or a man?"

"A handsome man. Thorin. Good gracious, that would be awesome.", he thought and smiled at Lobelia. "I don't know.", said he after a while innocently, "Well, I'm going to sleep. I'm tired. Good night, cousin."

She blinked few times and bid, "G'night."

He went to his room oddly excited, sat on his bed, and placed the box with the two beads on his lap. He stared at the piece of paper with the neat handwriting. "I've got an admirer. And it is not Sauron.", he whispered to himself, "Wonderful, great, awesome."

It felt strange. Yet, that was really pleasant. Strangely, Bilbo felt even more excited than before; he felt as if he could do anything: move mountains, reach the stars, or swim seas; and he couldn't help but smile broadly. He was extremely inspired, and happy. And he was really curious what was the secret admirer's name.

Was it Thorin, or not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... about the currency. According to Tolkien Gateway: _"In Gondor, the chief currency was the[Castar](); and a small silver coin known as the [Tharni]() was worth one-fourth of a Castar."_  
>  The name sounded interesting so I decided to use it in the story.
> 
> Did you know that **[Benedict Cumberbatch](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_Cumberbatch)** played, through voice and motion capture, both Smaug and Necromancer (Sauron)? Just saying... ]: >


End file.
